If You Like Half Liter Pilsners, and Gettin’ Caught in the Rain…

I love cooking. And I’ve already mentioned my obsession with European produce. So naturally food shopping in Berlin, with its inexpensive groceries and rows upon rows of every gummy candy shape known to man, is a real treat. If you’re wondering why a lot of people dislike Americans you need go no further than the American food section in a European grocery store. I believe that’s four kinds of squeezable cheeses there…

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The Germans, on the other hand, are brilliant. They’ve taken my two favorite odd-ball fruits: dragon fruit and blood oranges, and combined them into a fizzy drink. I’m pretty sure I squealed with delight upon seeing it. Luke had a harder time choosing a beverage, as he was overwhelmed with the roughly twenty-seven different types of mineral waters.

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We spent most of our Sunday visiting two extremely bourgie cafes, obviously it was Luke’s day to choose the activities. And then after a pathetically long nap, especially considering the amount of caffeine ingested, we set out for a beer garden. It was very softly drizzling when we left the apartment but torrentially down pouring as we got closer to the garten. *Luckily* we’re both incredibly stubborn and so we arrived, completely soaked through and too late for anything but sausages and Pilsners.

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It was fun though, and possible even romantic by our standards and that is exactly what my accidental date on Tuesday was not… I worship at the altar of couchsurfing.com. I love hosting, I love surfing, but I’ve never been to one of the “meetups” where surfers who are travelling in the same cities just, well, meet up. A French couple organized a meetup for Tuesday night and I joined them, as did a 34-year-old British man, Rob. It was all fine and then after a while the couple got tired and left. I should have followed their lead but I had just gotten a fresh whiskey and I was not about to abandon nor chug it. And that’s about when my night turned into a bad episode of Peep Show. If you’ve never seen Peep Show you really, really should, but the gist of it is a modern day, British odd couple. Essentially it’s two guys in their thirties with barely anything in common, sharing a flat and getting themselves into all manner of awkward situations. Rob looked a lot like “Jez” from the show and acted even more like him. Five giant beers later and he’s telling me how he hates his sisters’ children because they get more attention from his parents, he informed me that my arm sling is not an attractive look, and that he’s planning to write a history book based, not on any research, but on other history books. Then he invited me to go listen to some Jazz across the street, and because my desire for new experiences and hilarious situations sometimes increases my tolerance for morons like Jez, I went. The band was great and then Jez asked me to dance, which I sincerely didn’t feel like doing.

“You’re basically the worst date ever,” he accused.
“Uhhh this isn’t a date!”
“That explains your behavior.”
“Well it doesn’t explain yours!!”

I mean really. It was hard to keep a straight face. The trains stop running after 1am on weeknights and I wasn’t about to sit there figuring out a night bus schedule so my ‘date’ walked me over to a taxi depot. I’ve never been more thrilled to fork over 20 euro in my life. As the cab pulled away I watched Jez out the window in his golf cap and track jacket and walking with his head down; and I could hear the closing song of peep show.

All of Peep Show can be found on Hulu for free, god bless the BBC.
Here’s a visual for you where Jez actually asks someone to dance…


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